still no job. everything seems to be waiting for next week.

~roberts will call next week if they want to have an interview with me.

~the school board has a meeting next week; part of that meeting: approving me to substitute teach.

~a part-time job at a clothing/department store will call next week letting me know whether i will start work there or not.



*why is it that sometimes what you wait for can be answered all in one week? i'm not complaining...i mean it's kind of nice that after next week i will know a lot more about my current job life than i do now!

i'm not a fan of country music, but my heart sings with this song...

"Jesus Take The Wheel"

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It's been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh

ha. how nice!

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

personal honesty: pure and raw

the other day susana called me. it was wonderful to talk with her. i really appreciate the frienship that God blessed us with. during our conversation we talked about different scenes in the chronicles of narnia that have made a lasting impression on each of us.

the scene susana shared was from 'the silver chair', when jill is in the home of the giants and she begins to cry. lewis takes care to point out that tears are not childish but sometimes necessary. this simple part of the book was just what susana needed on one particular day.

i find myself in that place now. some tears come from time to time. i'm not happy. i'm quite sad actually. and i'm unable to shake it. i know it's something that God is working through me...

i watched a movie this evening... 'fried green tomatoes'...it's an alright movie. there was a line that stood out to me. "heartbreaks happen, but the heart goes on beating."

i loved my time in amsterdam working at the shelter jordan and living in the willemsstraat. my life in amsterdam was full, and i was fully alive in it, experiencing a much more abundant life than i had ever experienced. all of my senses were working overtime (and not just my senses but my heart and my mind and my emotions)... and i didn't mind it at all.

i've been home 2 months. what do i have to show in these 2 months? nothing like what i could share in just a week in the hostel! it's sad.

you know...i've never been this deep in sorrow before...but my feeling 2 months after finishing at the shelter jordan is one of heartbreak. and i know heartbreak happens, and the heart does go on beating, but honestly (it's scarey even writing this), i'd be content if my heart stopped beating.

i've probably shocked some of you at what i've just written. i wanted to be honest, and this is the first time i've admitted this thought that keeps appearing and annoying me.

i did find some comfort in psalm 13:

'how long, o Lord? will you forget me forever? how long will you hide your face from me?

how long must i take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? how long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

consider and answer me, o Lord, my God; light up my eyes, lest i sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, "i have prevailed over him," lest my foes rejoice because i am shaken.

but i have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

i will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.'

the verse mentioning sorrow in the heart all day long is something i can completely identify with. and i'm encouraged by the last portion of the psalm...i'm not there yet...but i can be...it is possible... just takes time.

and my enemy right now? yup. satan. he keeps trying to steal my joy...he keeps trying to make me forget what 'laurissa' means. i don't want it to happen...but i feel so helpless and trapped.

i didn't ask to learn this lesson................but who asks for lessons to learn??

my dear 1/2 meg tagged me...

so i think it's about time that i respond to her tagging!

anyway...

4 jobs i've had:
sales associate at fashion bug; a women's clothing store
cleaning the house of the dean of students at roberts
childcare
a farmer's market

4 movies i've been addicted to:
singing in the rain
the notebook
lord of the rings trilogy
the sound of music

4 places i've lived:
bradford, pa, usa
rochester, ny, usa
bath, ny, usa
amsterdam, netherlands

4 countries i would like to visit:
greece
italy
turkey
sweden

4 popular false assumptions about me:
i'm quiet
i'm extremely shy
i don't climb trees
i don't mind getting really dirty (like with bicycle grease, etc)

4 people i look like(according to certain people):
my dad
my aunt barb
ryan urquhart (a previous staff member of the jordan...we really could be twins!)
some actress from the show 'party of five'... ?

4 things to do before i die:
visit all of my international friends in their countries
to speak fluently in dutch, french, italian, greek...i could go on... !
publish some of my own children's stories
live every day to the fullest (that's my challenge right now)

and i have no idea who to tag...so i'll tag my dutch brother ben, susana, leticia, and zac (since zac hasn't updated in a while...heehee).

ciao allemaal!

i'm not going to calgary. it would have been fun. oh well.









now i just need to figure out why God wants me in Bradford, Pennsylvania.

encouragement

my grandma (mom's mother) has always been such a great influence in my life and has never ceased to bring overflowing encouragement.

today was no different.

i drove to cuba, ny to spend time with her. we talked some small talk at first, but before long we were going deep and then we were praying. it was wonderful.

tears escaped. tears escaping in grandma's presence has always been a safe place for me. there are still more tears to come... tears concerning several aspects of my life... it takes time.

i loved every minute of our time together.

grandma told me at one point, "i see your sorrow...now i can't begin to understand it, but i see it."

that comforted me.

as i was tying my shoelaces, getting ready to leave she spoke: "Rissa, don't let satan take your joy."

she's right. i can't let him do that. i don't want him to take my joy... though sometimes the sadness is just over-powering.

but you know what? my name is LAURISSA; not just because my parents liked the name and thought it would suit their second born child. no, i'm certain God was involved in the choosing of my name. LAURISSA means 'full of laughter' or 'cheerful one'.

and little by little, God is reminding me of that very fact.

an opportunity

for me to work in calgary, alberta CANADA as a nanny...

strangely this is connected to the shelter! you shelter city folk that were around in the summer might remember a 5 yr old named Lexi and her mother Jackie from Canada. (Lexi and Jackie went on a world travel for around a year, i think...one of their stops was Amsterdam and they stayed at shelter city) well, the mother expressed an interest for someone to watch her daughter from feb 27 until the end of the summer.... i responded to her e-mail.

now this coming weekend i will know whether she wants me to come or not.

i'd appreciate your prayers in this! i'd really like for this opportunity to become a reality!

i would have my own bedroom and bathroom (living with Lexi and her mother); Jackie speaks dutch fluently (so i could continue to work on my dutch!!!) and would like her daughter to learn as well (i could teach what i know and learn!).... this would be a ministry opportunity as well, since the mother is not a Christian. one of my dreams while working in the shelter jordan was to someday live with a family, taking care of the children, and having the opportunity to share Jesus just through my lifestyle and character. families are so unique...and i really like them. i'd love for this realized dream to become a reality so soon...!

so...help me out and join me in prayer :) matthew 18:20

thanks heaps!